The Intern
by BeaRsBeeTsBattleStarGalacticAx
Summary: I know there's a fanfic on here with the exact same name, but it's just a working title. A 15-year-old girl starts working as an intern at Dunder Mifflin Scranton... there are friendships, rivalries, crushes and of course chaos because of Michael!
1. Day One: Monday Blues

(AN: I don't own ANYTHING from The Office… I know there have been maybe one or two intern fics, and I didn't steal the idea from those people lol. R&R and enjoy!!!)

I walked slowly up the stairs of the building and looked for the door that said "Dunder Mifflin Paper Company Inc.", with my yellow bag on my shoulder. It had everything I thought I would need for the day: paper of course, pens, pencils, my iPod in case I didn't have anything to do, and other things. _How did I get stuck doing this? I thought. A paper company. Could there _be _a more boring place to work? _

The last week of my sophomore year of high school, all the guidance counselors made us go to an assembly that talked about how we should be starting to think about what we want to do for a living. My cousin worked for the Akron branch of Dunder Mifflin, and he said that there was an internship open, so I took advantage of my connection and filled out the papers. I sent them to the nearest branch, Scranton, where I had lived all my life, and a week later the corporate office sent me an e-mail that said they liked me and I got the internship.

I found the suite I was looking for, and hesitantly opened the door. The place looked pretty professional, there were people working on computers, making phone calls, the usual events of a regular office. I went up to the receptionist. She had brownish-red hair, tied back, a sort of cute outfit, she looked friendly, and she didn't have that much make-up on, but still was pretty.

"Hi. I'm… Sara Geller, the intern for the summer," I said, trying to sound confident.

"Pam Beesly," she told me, holding out her hand. I shook it, even though my hand was shaking from being nervous. "Hold on." She picked up the phone and dialed a number. "Michael, the intern's here." She looked up at me. "Michael's our boss. If I were you, I'd be prepared."

Within seconds, my new boss, Michael, came bounding out of his office. He was short, had big eyes, and sort of a big nose. He came up to me.

"Hi! Michael Scott, at your service," he said in a bad fake British accent. I held out my hand for him. "No, no, no. We don't shake here! We're like one big, happy family! We hug!" he shouted, grabbing me. He could tell that I was uncomfortable from the bear hug. "Anyway, let me show you around."

"Oh boy," I said sarcastically.

**Michael talking-head**

"Do I like kids?" Michael asked the camera. "Of course, I wanna have kids of my own someday." He took a sip of his coffee." The intern already loves me, I told you I had a thing with children…" The camera crew give him a weird look. "No, not like that… it's just that kids seem to warm up to me!!"

"You'll be working in sales if you already didn't know," he informed me. "So let me introduce you to them first." We walked over to the two desks across from Pam's desk. "_This, _my little grass-hoppa, is Jim Halpert. He's the ninth best salesman in the company, a hard worker, and currently hooking up with Pam over there."

"Jim," the man said, smiling. He was tall, probably about 6' 3", had gorgeous eyes, and a warm, friendly smile. I shook his big hand, blushing. He was unbelievably cute. "Nice to meet you."

"I'm Sara," I squeaked out. "And you too." I couldn't help staring.

"OK, on with the tour," Michael said, snapping me out of it. "Over here, we have Dwight." I studied him for a minute. He had a bad haircut, glasses that looked 20 years old, and he had a very smug look on his face when he saw me.

"What do we have here?" he asked, looking at me. "A teenager… uck."

"Dwight, be nice. She's the intern," Michael told him.

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**Dwight talking head**

"This… weakling is the intern?" he asked the camera. "She wouldn't survive a day as a Schrute… probably couldn't even plow a row of the fields."

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"Moving on…" Michael said, feeling the tension between me and Dwight. "This sexy _stud _i-."

"Michael, you know that makes me uncomfortable- oh hi," he said, noticing me. "Ryan Howard." He had dark hair and piercing blue eyes.

"Ryan here's been through a lot with us. He went from being a temp here at Scranton, got promoted to vice president at corporate, got arrested for fraud, and now he's back here as a salesman!" Michael explained.

"You didn't have to do it like that," Ryan said.

"That's what she said," Michael said. I rolled my eyes at him, and so did Ryan. It was obviously a joke that everyone had heard a million times. He awkwardly lead me over to another part of the large room, where a weirdly attractive guy was looking at something on his computer with a huge smirk on his face.

"Andy," Michael said. "This is Sara, the new intern."

"Hi there. Andy Bernard," he said, trying to be smooth. He held out his hand and flashed me a killer smile. I shook it, trying not to laugh at his dorky-ness.

As we were about to go over to _another _part of the room, the only woman at the group of desks got up and made her way to the copier in the middle of the room.

"Angela!" Michael shouted, grabbing her arm.

"Don't ever touch me again Michael," she snapped, fixing her shirt.

"This is Sara… the new intern for the summer," he told her.

"Hello," she said to me coldly. She didn't even bother shaking my hand or anything, and just walked away. _Holy crap, what's up her ass? I thought. _She was very petite, obviously a bitch from the way she greeted me, and her clothes looked like they were from the 1700s she was so covered up.

"What's up her butt?" I whispered to Michael.

He laughed. "Alllrighty then," he said, showing me over to a group of desks where an older looking woman, a heavy-set African American guy, and a woman that looked older than she probably was were sitting.

"This is Phyllis," he told me. "She's sorta like the grandmother in our Dunder Mifflin family."

"Michael, I'm the same age as you," she said, sounding annoyed.

"It doesn't matter, you're still the oldest looking," he said. She looked offended.

"Hi, I'm Sara," I told her. "And you don't look a day over 30!"

"Thank you!" she said.

**Angela and Phyllis talking-head**

"Did you see what she was wearing?" Angela asked. "Her capris were too tight on her butt and her shirt was way too low!"

"I think she looked cute," Phyllis said.

"It's like she wants all the guys here to be staring at her. And she's what, 20 years younger than them?" she asked. "Only a hussy would want an older man."

"She was nice, and very polite," Phyllis said. "You don't find girls like that anymore."

"Ullck," Angela muttered, rolling her eyes.

Michael lead me to the back corner of the office. "Kelly, Toby, come out of The Annex!" he called.

"Why cant we just-" I started.

"No, no, no, I don't think you wanna go in there," he told me, holding me back. "Toby's in HR… ew."

Just as he said that, a perky looking Indian girl dressed in pink came walking out of the corner, and a tired looking man followed. He looked tired of his job.

"Kelly… _Toby_," Michael said. He over-emphasized the name Toby smugly. "This is Sara, she's gonna be interning here for the summer."

"Hi, Toby," the tired looking man said.

"Hi, I'm Kelly!" the perky girl said. "Oh my God, that shirt is _so _cute! Where'd you get it?"

"Express I think," I told her. "I like your shoes."

"Thanks" she said. "Have you seen the Twilight movie yet? Edward is amazing!!"

"I read the book… the movie was alright," I said. "I like Jacob better."

"Mhmm, he's cute too," she agreed. "Oh my God, did you hear about the Gossliens getting divorced?"

"Yeah," I told her. "I feel so bad for the kids!"

"Me too," she said.

"Okay, enough girl talk," Michael interrupted. "We have to go over some things."

**Kelly and Ryan talking-head**

"Sara is so cool!" Kelly shouted. "We have like, so much in common!" Ryan rolled his eyes at Kelly. "What Ryan?"

"N-nothing," he told her.

"You're lying to me, Ryan Howard!" she yelled, storming out of the room.

"She was just being nice," he told the camera. "I don't know anyone in this office that doesn't think Kelly's annoying…"

"Okay," Michael said, closing his office door behind him and sitting at his desk. "During your internship here, you're gonna have to go on a sales call with each of our salesman."

I nodded.

"You're gonna have to make calls and make sales," he explained. "And sales are cortical to this company, so whenever (or if) you make any sales, you get paid commition. But other than that, you don't get paid."

"Alright," I told him.

"So… you'll be working with Jim," he told me. I started blushing. _Yes! I get to work with the cute guy! I thought. _"I think he'll be a big help."

"Me too," I agreed.

"Alrighty then," he said. "You can go over to Pam and give her all your paperwork."

I walked out of Michael's office, and back over to Pam's desk.

"Uhm… Michael said that I needed to give you some paperwork," I told her.

"Oh yeah," she said.

I rummaged through my bag, and I found that folder that had all of my working papers, application, and all that stuff in it. I noticed what looked like an engagement ring on Pam's finger.

"Oh my God, you're ring is _gorgeous_," I told her.

"Really? You like it?" she asked, holding out her hand so I could see the ring better.

"Mhmm," I told her. "Who's the lucky guy?"

"Jim," she told me, looking in his direction. _Damn! The cute guys are always taken, I thought. It doesn't matter anyways, he could be my brother… _

"I had a feeling there was something going on between you two," I said. "You guys are so cute together!"

"Thanks," she said. "How do you like Dunder Mifflin so far?"

"It's really crazy," I said. "And Michael's… a character."

"Yeah, he's really immature sometimes," she said, laughing at what I'd said.

"Jeez, I haven't even been here a day yet and I can already tell I'm gonna have fun working here," I told Pam. "I think Michael said something about Jim helping me out, so I should really… go do that."

"It's no big deal, if you don't get started before 12 he wont mind," she told me. "Michael's a really laid back kinda boss."

Pam and I talked for a little while, and we were becoming fast friends. I told her about my family, friends, my favorite movies, tv shows, all that stuff. From time to time Michael peeked out of his office, and he finally yelled at us.

"Come on guys, break up the coffee clutch already," he shouted. "The kid has stuff to do, and I want it to be done before we start important things."

I got a chair from the corner and pulled it up to Jim's desk.

"OK… do you have your internship papers filled out?" he asked.

"Yup," I told him.

"Good, that's one less thing I gotta help you with," he said. I got a little upset, because I thought he liked me. "No, no, I didn't mean it like that. I'm just a little… lazy."

"I understand," I told him. "I goof off a lot too."

"Did you… set up an email account on our network yet?" he asked.

"Nope," I told him. He opened up Microsoft Outlook for me, and clicked "create account". He helped me fill out all the information, like name, address, birthday, etc.

"You're last name's Geller?" he asked. "Like Ross and Monica from FRIENDS?"

"Yeah, all my friends' moms used to always say, "How are Ross and Monica? Tell them I said hi" and stupid stuff like that," I told him.

"That's cool," he said. "Now you have to pick an email."

"I like the Phillies and the Eagles… how about something with those?" I asked. He shrugged his shoulders. "I got it! NewKid93!"

"Like New Kids on the Block? The boy band?" Jim asked.

"No way! I don't even listen to them… cause I'm new here," I explained.

"Oh… that's clever," Jim said.

"Yeah…" I said, blushing. I saw a rubber band on Jim's desk picked it up, and shot it at Dwight.

"Oww! Jim I cant believe you would be so chil- oh it's you," he said, getting mad at me. "I'm telling Michael." I rolled my eyes at him when he had his back turned. When he was talking to Michael, I snuck over to his desk and found his paper clip holder. I started stringing them together, and Jim noticed and went along with it, so he was my lookout. I only had a few more left when I thought I heard Michael's door open.

"Hurry up!" Jim whispered. "He's opening the door!" The door didn't open, so I was safe for a few more minutes. I finished the string, and carefully put it back in the holder. I had enough time to get back to where I was sitting. He made it look like he was showing me something, but when Dwight had to staple something and there were no more staples in the stapler and decided to use a paper clip, I couldn't hold in my laughter. When he tried to pull out just one paper clip and the whole chain came out and he kept pulling it, I blew it.

"Intern! Get over here!" he yelled.

"No," I told him. "As far as I know, you're not my boss."

"I am your superior, you have to do what I say," he ordered.

"Ughh," I whined, walking over to Dwight's desk.

"I thought you were going to be different, join the Dwight Army of Champions. But no, you're a slacker/loser/wise-ass like Jim," he said.

"And…?" I asked.

"Why do I even bother?" he said, mumbling to himself. "You could've been something here, but you just blew it!"

I ignored Dwight and walked back to Jim's desk.

"Yeah!" he said, giving me a high five. "That was great!"

"I know," I said.

Michael walked out of his office holding a VHS. "Alright everyone, it's Monday, you know what that means!" he bellowed. There was a chorus of "ughh"s and "not _again_!"s from almost everyone. "Moooovie Mooonday!"

"Movie Monday?" I mouthed to Jim as we got up and went into the conference room.

"Michael makes us watch Varsity Blues every, single Monday so we can get over our Monday blues," he explained.

"That movie was supposed to be good," I said.

"It's not good anymore when you've seen it over 20 times," Jim said.

We sat in the back of the room so we could whisper back and forth during the movie. Pam came in and sat down next to Jim, and I got uncomfortable. They probably wanted to be alone, not hanging out with me. I got up to sit somewhere else.

"Where're you going?" Pam asked.

"To find another seat," I told her. "I don't wanna interrupt your… alone time."

"It's fine," Jim assured me. "We _are _friends right?"

"Yeah, but I'm sure you guys don't wanna hang out with a 15-year-old…"

"You're a nice kid," Pam said.

"And you pulled a prank on Dwight, so I guess you're _alright_," Jim said. He could tell I took him seriously. "I'm just kidding! You're great."

"So we _are _friends?" I asked.

"Of course," Pam and Jim said at almost the exact same time.


	2. Full Title Inside!

The full chapter title is Dwight's Idea of a Rite of Passage and The Trials and Tribulations of Flirting

My first day working at Dunder Mifflin Scranton was interesting to say the least. My boss, Michael Scott, bombarded me from the second I walked through the door, most of my co-workers love me, except Angela who's super religious and thinks I'm a slut and Dwight because I love to annoy him like Jim. Speaking of Jim, he's my supervisor, and also really, really cute. But he's engaged to Pam, the receptionist. But I don't mind because she's really nice and we like a lot of the same stuff. I clicked with the both of them the second I met them. The only people I don't like working with are Andy, Dwight, and Ryan. I don't like working with Dwight for obvious reasons, but I like pulling pranks on him. I don't like Andy and Ryan, but I have a feeling they like me. All they did this week was compliment me every chance they could and help me every chance they could. I really don't know what I'm gonna do, because I _don't _want them asking me out for 2 reasons: one, they're both way, way, WAY too old for me, and two, they can both be jerks, so they're not my type.

I was too lazy to take the stairs today, so I decided to take the elevator. I saw Oscar, one of the accountants, waiting for the elevator, and I went up to him. Oscar was a nice guy, but I was still a little uncomfortable about the fact that he was gay.

"Hey Oscar," I said, stepping into the elevator.

"Hi," he said. "How's your first week been?"

"Pretty good," I told him. "I still have to get used to everything… especially Michael… you know how he is…"

"You mean I know that he makes you feel over-whelmed, oblivious to the fact that he's not as cool as he thinks he is, and his jokes aren't funny? Then yes," he said.

"That's basically what I was going for," I told him, laughing.

The elevator doors opened up, and I walked through the door. _Thursday, finally! One more day till the weekend! I thought. _

"Hi Pam," I said, walking to the little desk Michael had gotten from the basement for me. I put my bag under the desk, and got everything I needed for the day. Michael had said the day before that he and Dwight, being the "Assistant to the Regional Manager", had something planned to welcome me to the company. I was excited for that.

"G'morning Sara," she said. "Did you get the email Dwight sent out? The one about today?"

"No… what'd it say?" I asked.

"I don't know, I didn't even bother opening it," she told me. "Ask Jim. He probably read it for a laugh."

"Mhmm," I said. _I wonder what the email was about that I didn't get it. I thought. _"Jim!"

"Hmm?" he asked, spinning around in his chair.

"Did you get an email from Dwight about what's going on today?" I asked.

"Hah, yeah," he said, laughing. "You wanna read it?"

"Yes, because I bet you it was something about me," I said.

He turned his computer screen so I could see the email. It went a little something like this:

_Greetings- _

_There is going to be a meeting tomorrow at 11:30 regarding the new intern, Sara. I have something planned, so BE PREPARED. _

_-Dwight K Schrute _

"What does he mean by "BE PREPARED"?" I asked, getting a little worried.

"I have _no _idea," Jim told me. "But usually when he sends emails like this, I blow 'em off… today is no different."

"OK," I said. "So I shouldn't be worried?"

"You should be worried, because it could be anything," he said.

I decided to email Dwight about it straight up.

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Dwight,

I heard about the email that you sent everyone… except me. Are you planning something? Like a surprise?

~Sara : )

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Why should I tell you? And yes, it is a surprise ;)

-Dwight K Schrute

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DKS,

You should tell me because it has to do with me… please??

What's with the winking smiley face?

~Sara : )

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First of all, DKS? From now on you will call me by my first name, and my first name only. I am your superior, not one of your little boyfriends. And second of all, how did you find out that it has to do with you?

-Dwight K Schrute

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Dwight,

I have my connections… why cant you just tell me already?

And by the way, I don't have a boyfriend, so you can tell Ryan and Andy that I'm available. Wait, _don't _tell them that, I don't want them bothering me even more than they already are…

~Sara : )

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Stop asking, because I'm not telling you.

Who is this connection… it's obviously someone in this office.

-Dwight K Schrute

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I didn't bother replying to his last email, because I was getting tired of him not giving me any answers. I went back to work; making calls to people and businesses on the list Jim had given me. I couldn't really concentrate, so I wasn't really paying attention to what I was saying.

"Yes, yes thank you," I told the person on the other side of the line. "Have a good day, bye!"

I hung up the phone, and Dwight gave me a dirty look.

"You cant get so personal with the customers, Sara," he told me.

"It's helping me get sales Dwight, so obviously it's ok," I argued, giving him an attitude.

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**Dwight talking-head **

"The surprise that I've planned for Sara has been in my family for generations," Dwight explained. "When a Schrute boy or girl reaches a certain age, their parents have to put them in the barn with a live, rabid raccoon. The child has to use the skills they've learned from their parents and from working with animals to get the raccoon to calm down so it doesn't bite them. This is what Sara will do today, and she will probably fail."

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Michael came strutting out of his office, probably about to make an announcement.

"Everyone in the conference room," he announced. "We're having a little welcoming party for Sara."

Everyone filed into the conference room, I was really nervous, because I didn't know what Dwight had planned, and even if Michael knew about it or not, I still knew that it would result in complete chaos.

I walked in and Dwight was waiting at the door, and when I passed him he gave me sort of an evil smirk.

"As you all may or may not know," Michael said, standing in front of us. "We have a new addition to our Dunder Mifflin family." Ryan smiled at me. _Eww, I thought. _"Sara Geller, come on down!" I think that was supposed to be funny, but as usual no one laughed except Dwight.

I stood up a little, because I was still really shy around my co-workers.

"Come on, come up here," he said, motioning for me to come up.

I walked up nervously and started blushing dark red when everyone was looking at me.

"I think she's a little nervous Michael," Pam said. "Don't make her stand up there if she doesn't want to."

"Why would she be nervous?" he asked. "It's not like she works with anyone attractive…" I blushed again. Wow. My boss really _was _an idiot.

I noticed Dwight had stepped out of the room, and usually he didn't miss a second of Michael's meetings, no matter how stupid or irrelevant.

"Fine, you guys can leave," he said, sounding disappointed. "I was gonna bring out cupcakes and everything!!"

"Michael don't be such a baby," Angela said. "It's not a big deal… she's not as important as someone like me. She's just an intern."

Everyone filed back out of the conference room and back to their posts. I was one of the last to leave when Dwight grabbed me and took me back into the conference room.

"Dwight!" I said, trying to break his grip. "What the hell are you doing?" He shut the door behind him and locked it.

"Are you ready for your surprise?" he asked with a slight smirk on his face.

"You're not stripping in front of me, Dwight," I told him.

"That's not even your surprise," he told me, opening the latch to the cat carrier he had. "This is…" Hiding in the cat carrier was a raccoon.

"Dwight… what are you doing?" I asked him, getting scared.

"This is a raccoon, my cousin Mose found it in the barn and it's rabid," he told me. Like I didn't know that. "You are going to have to use your common sense to figure out a way that this raccoon wont bite you."

"No way! Let me out of here!" I screamed, heading towards the door.

"Ah-ah-ah! You're not coming out until that thing isn't foaming at the mouth," he told me, slamming the door behind him.

"Dwight, are you crazy! I'm gonna get rabies!" I screamed through the window. I turned around and I saw the raccoon standing on the table, and it had a crazy look in its eyes. It jumped off the table and was about 5 feet away from me. "Jim! Pam! Somebody unlock the damn door!"

"Dwight, what did you put in there?" I heard Jim ask. Dwight explained the Schrute family tradition. Then I heard him scream, "She's probably this close to getting rabies by now!" I heard fast-paced foot steps run towards the door.

"Unlock the door! Unlock the door!" I screamed, almost crying. The raccoon was foaming at the mouth now, and it looked like it was going to jump on me and bite me. Whoever was on the other side of the door played with the door-handle, trying to unlock it without any success.

"Jim? Is that you?" I panicked. I was crying I was scared. "No it's Pam, Phyllis and Michael. Jim went to go get Hank. He has the key to every door in this building."

_Oh God, I thought. Michael's gonna make this even worse than it is. _

A few minutes later, I heard Jim again. "Sara, Hank's got the key. You're gonna be fine," he assured me. I heard the key go in, and the door handle clicked. The door opened, I ran out, and I slammed it behind me so the thing wouldn't go loose in the office.

"Are you alright?" Pam asked.

"I-I-I'm fine," I stuttered, still scared to death.

"Dwight, get that damn thing out of here," Michael ordered him. "Why don't you go lie down on the couch over there, you still look traumatized."

"I'll be right back," I told everyone. Dwight had freed the raccoon, so when I walked past his desk I flipped him off. I walked out of the office and down one flight of stairs and found a corner to sit in. I was so mad at Dwight, that all I could do was cry.

After a while, I heard footsteps coming down the stairs. "Hey," I heard them say. Jim.

"Hi," I looked up. He could tell I was crying, so he got a little uncomfortable.

"Listen," he said, sitting against the wall next to me. "Don't be embarrassed. If I were you, I wouldn't have suspected it either. Dwight does some pretty crazy and stupid things."

I didn't say anything. Surprisingly he didn't get up and leave. He just sat with me until I stopped crying.

He helped me up when I stopped. "Thank you," I said, hugging him. "You're a great friend."

"You're welcome," he said, a little surprised that I hugged him. "You should be getting back to work." He smiled.

We went back upstairs and everyone stared at me. Everyone that had witnessed what Dwight had done looked really concerned. I silently slumped back into my chair. Meredith, one of the quality assurance people came up to me.

"That was a close one," she said. "Dwight once tried to catch a bat that was loose in here and put the garbage bag he caught it in on my head… I ended up getting rabies."

"Wow," I said. "That must've been really scary."

"Not really," she said. "All I had to do was get the shot for it and that was it." I gave the camera an "Oh my God" look.

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**Dwight talking-head**

"I told you she would fail… and she did… horribly," he said to the camera.

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By the time I had gotten over what Dwight did to me, it was time for lunch. I sat at my usual table, with Jim and Pam, eating my peanut butter and fluff and iced tea. Andy sat down at the empty seat next to me.

"PB and fluff again, I see," he said. "I like…"

_What a creep, I thought. The best pick-up line he could come up with is about my freakin lunch? _

I ignored him.

"She's not interested Andy," Jim intervened. "Leave her alone."

"Tuna, I never thought you could be so protective!" he said.

I gave him a "shut-the-hell-up-you're-a-prick" look.

"Ok, ok, I get it," he said, getting up from the table. "You don't want what the Nard Dog has to offer…"

"God, he is _so _annoying," I said. "Cant he see that I don't wanna go out with him?"

"He's pretty relentless," Pam told me. "When he wanted to ask Angela out, he moonwalked by her desk every day for a week."

"But he's so… dorky!" I said. "How does he ever get a date?"

"Most girls he goes out with think it's cute… you saw right through him I guess."

During lunch, a few people were still talking about what Dwight had put me through. I decided that after lunch I would complain to Michael about it.

When our lunch hour was over, I went to the ladies room so I wouldn't have to get up from my work. I walked in and someone flushed the toilet. To my surprise, Creed walked out with headphones on and a magazine under his arm.

"Creed?!" I asked. "What the hell are you doing in the women's bathroom?"

"What?" he screamed, his music obviously really loud.

"I said, what are you doing in the ladies' room?"

"Oh," he said, taking the headphones off and putting them around his neck. "I'm a pretty normal guy, actually. I do one weird thing: I like to go in the women's room for number 2…"

I practically ran out of the bathroom. Jim looked at me like I had 4 heads.

"What happened to you?" he asked. "Someone forget to flush the toilet?"

"No, worse," I told him. "I went into the bathroom… and _Creed _walked out of one of the stalls!! He told me that he uses the women's room to… "go number 2" as he put it."

Jim's eyes widened, and he gave the camera another "Oh my God!" look.

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**Sara talking-head **

"Now I think I'm gonna be scared every time I have to use the ladies' room…" I said to the camera. "I never thought that would happen- especially with someone like… Creed." I shuddered.

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I didn't have anything to do at the moment, so I went into Michael's office to complain about Dwight.

"Michael can I uhm… talk to you about something?" I asked.

"Sure, sure. Come on in," he said. "What's up?"

"Can I file a complaint?" I asked.

"Yeah, go put it in the constructive criticism compliment box," he told me. "It's behind Pam's desk… the thing with the plastic bag over it."

"So you mean the garbage can?" I asked. "You're unbelievable… I'll just go talk to Toby."

I made my way to the part of the office that Michael called "The Annex", because it was hidden from the rest of the room.

"Toby…" I said.

"Yeah?"

"Can I file a complaint?"

"Sure… but let's go somewhere a little more private." He lead me into the conference room.

"What's going on?"

I told him about Dwight locking me in the conference room with the rabid raccoon and how I almost got bitten, and he let me fill out the form and that was it. I went back to my little desk, and within minutes, Ryan was hanging over me.

"How old are you again?" he asked.

"Fifteen," I said.

"That's only 15 years younger than me, ya know," he told me.

"Really? That's cool I guess," I said,

"Yeah…" he said. I saw Kelly look over The Annex and give me a dirty look.

"I think Kelly's a little jealous," I told him.

"Ahh, it doesn't matter," he said. "We're not even together anymore."

"You guys were together?" I asked. "I never would've guessed…"

"Yeah… but that was a while ago," he said.

"I like your tie," I said, flirting a little.

"This old thing?" he asked. "No you don't…"

"Really I do," I told him. "It looks great with that shirt."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Sara talking-head **

"Jim… Ryan…," I told the camera crew. "_Jim… Ryan…_ ughhh, what am I gonna do?"

"And then there's Andy…" I said.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


	3. Casual Friday and Mixed Feelings

I walked into the office in a good mood, but I knew that something would happen to ruin it. Today was casual Friday, and I was anxious to see what everyone looked like outside of work. I walked to my desk, observing what everyone was wearing.

"Hi!" I said cheerfully to Pam. She looked up from the computer.

I sat down at my desk. "_Good _morning Jim."

"Hey," he said, leaning back in his chair. He looked cute (not that he didn't look cute every day) but he was wearing jeans and a sweater with the sleeves rolled up. Pam didn't wear a skirt for once. All Dwight did was not wear a tie. _How casual, I thought. _Andy looked really faggy; he was wearing plaid shorts and bright colored sweatshirt.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Sara talking-head**

"Today is my first casual Friday," I told the camera crew. "I don't know what to expect, because so far things have been pretty… crazy."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was getting started on making sales calls when I saw Jim go over and lean on Pam's desk. They _were _engaged, so it's not like he didn't have a right to, but it got me a little jealous. Jim was cute, and Pam was lucky to have him, so I didn't want to tell anyone that I had a little crush on him. Michael came strolling out of his office, wearing jeans that looked too tight for him and a Dunder Mifflin golf shirt. I giggled a little at how ridiculous he looked. _What could he possibly need to tell us? I thought. It's 9:15 in the morning for God's sake! _

"Morning guys," he said. "There're donuts in the kitchen, courtesy of Kevin, and we're having a meeting about the effects of male-pattern baldness at 1."

"Wow…" I mumbled.

"What would you do if Michael wasn't here?" Dwight asked. "Stealing from the grocery store? Smoking pot from your little friends?"

"Shut up Dwight!" I yelled. "I _don't_ smoke pot and I _don't _steal!"

"Calm down," Jim told me. "Just ignore him."

"Yeah, run to your little boyfriend every time I yell at you…" Dwight said.

"I don't like him…" I said.

"Pshh," he mumbled.

Andy walked past our desks with his briefcase in hand.

"Sales call," he told me. "Don't miss me too much."

"You're a creep," I mumbled.

"She loves me," he told Pam as he walked out. She rolled her eyes.

After he had been gone for a while, I took out a 24 pack of crayons from my bag.

"What're you doing?" Jim asked.

"Just watch…" I told him as I snuck over to Andy's desk. I took Andy's Cornell cup that he kept all the pens and pencils he used and put them in my desk. Then I put the crayons in the cup and placed it back on his desk.

He started laughing a little, and I smiled at him.

A few minutes later I checked my email, and he had sent me one.

_Sara, _

_I pulled that one on Dwight years ago… Classic! :)_

_Andy's gonna freak. _

*****************************************************

A few hours later, it was time for Michael's meeting about male-pattern baldness. I wasn't dreading it, because I had my phone with me. To my surprise, Andy still hadn't noticed that I replaced his pens and pencils with crayons. I couldn't wait to see his reaction.

We were all in the conference room, listening to Michael babble about how male-pattern baldness is effecting 7 out of every 10 men in the US, how it's irreversible, and things I didn't have to worry about. So I took out my phone and saw that my best friend Jordyn had texted me.

--------------------------------------------------

_Hey! _

_How's the job thing goin'? _

--------------------------------------------------

_It's been pretty fun… _

_Except my boss is acts like he's 13 and this guy that I work with is an asshole_

--------------------------------------------------

_Really? That sucks… _

_Any cute guys?_

--------------------------------------------------

_Mhmm _

_There's this one guy Jim who's really cute, but he's getting married to the receptionist… _

_But these 2 guys, Andy and Ryan, keep trying to flirt with me… and they're like 15 and 20 years older than me, but Ryan's actually ok. :)_

----------------------------------------------------

I was about to see what Jordyn had texted me back, but I saw Dwight looking in my direction.

"Hey! Stop texting!" Dwight yelled.

"I don't have to worry about male-pattern baldness, I'm a girl!" I told him.

"So? Michael is your boss… you must listen to every word he says."

"Whatever…" I said.

"And remember," Michael said. "if you notice your hair disappearing, see a doctor."

Everyone got up and went back to their desks. I had a plan to get Andy to notice what I'd done.

I spun around in my chair so that I was facing him. "Hey Andy, can I borrow a pen?" I asked.

"Sure," he answered, winking at me. He reached into the Cornell cup and pulled out a blue crayon. "What the hell? Where'd all my pens go?"

I shrugged my shoulders.

"Tuna… what did you do?!" he asked Jim, getting mad.

"It wasn't me," he said, laughing.

"Oh, I know it was you…" he yelled. I couldn't hold in my laughter any longer; so I burst out laughing. It was so bad that I was crying, and Andy noticed. "You did this?" I couldn't speak so I nodded yes. He walked over to my desk. "Where'd you put my pens and pencils?" I didn't want him flirting with me again, so I opened the drawer that I had them in and gave them back. "That was a good one Mini Tuna…"

"Mini Tuna?" I asked.

"You're like his Mini-Me," he said. "Playin' pranks on everyone, making jokes all the time, not doing anything."

"I am _not _like Jim," I told him. "And wait… you're not mad?"

"Nahh..." he said.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

**Andy talking-head **

"Sara is like a younger, girl-version of Big Tuna," Andy explained. "Who else woulda thought of that prank?" He thought for a moment. "There _is _one thing she has that he doesn't… she's hot." The camera crew tells him that she's 15. "You're kidding me… well, I feel like an asshole now."

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Michael came out of his office. "Poor Richard's tonight… be there," he announced.

"I'm defiantly going," I told Jim. "What about you?"

"I don't know yet," he told me. "If Pam goes, then I'll probably go."

"Question!" Dwight yelled. "What are we going to do about the intern? She's underage…" He gave me a "ha-ha" look.

"She's going if she wants to go," Michael told him. "We'll just… sneak her in or something. She's not gonna have any real drinks anyway."

"That would be illegal," Dwight said. "And I would have to report this, because I'm a volunteer sheriff's deputy."

"If you're a volunteer that doesn't count," Pam chimed in.

"Yes it does," Dwight said.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

**Dwight talking-head **

"Even though Michael will be doing something illegal tonight, and I'm a volunteer sheriff's deputy, I will not report him to the police," he said. "But that would be going against my oath…"

--------------------------------------------------------------------

I went into the kitchen, looking for the donuts that Kevin had brought in that morning. There was one left. I decided to make some hot chocolate for myself. I went into the cabinet where the mugs were, and the only ones left were one of Phyllis' and the mug with Kelly's face on it from her America's Got Talent finale party a few years ago. I took Kelly's.

I walked out of the kitchen with my donut and hot chocolate, and got back to work. Kelly went to the copier in the center of the room. It took her a minute to realize I was using her mug.

"Hey! What are you doing with my mug?" she asked.

"Oh my God, this is yours?" I asked, playing dumb.

"Yeah… it has my face on it, duh," she told me.

"Oops, I guess I didn't notice," I said.

She walked back to her desk, but on the way she stopped at Ryan's and whispered something to him.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

**Kelly talking head**

"Sara is defiantly _not _cool anymore," she said. "First she "innocently" flirted with Ryan, and now she drank out of my mug… she's gone too far."

-------------------------------------------------------------------

I called all the numbers on the list Jim had given me for the day, and before I knew it, the day was basically over. I didn't have anything else to do, so I watched YouTube videos. Dwight didn't seem to notice, so I knew I wasn't going to get in trouble. Michael came out of his office carrying his things.

"Alright guys," he said. "Who's going to Poor Richard's?"

Me, Jim, Pam, Dwight, Andy, Meredith, Ryan, Phyllis, and Kelly said they were.

"Ok, then Jim, Pam, Sara, me, and Ryan'll take my car, Dwight, Phyllis and Bob Vance, Kelly and Meredith go in Meredith's van," he said.

"Michael, I wanna be with Ryan, so can I go with you guys?" she asked, hanging on Ryan.

"Sure whatever," he told her. "You and Sara are gonna have to sit on laps or something."

"Uck, fine," she said.

Everyone collected their things and went into the parking lot. Jim, Pam, Ryan, Kelly, Michael, and I piled into his PT Cruiser convertible. Michael and Jim were in the front, and Pam, Ryan, Kelly, and I were in the back. I had to lie on everyone's laps so we wouldn't get caught.

"So I'm not gonna be buckled in or anything?" I asked.

"That's the way we do it, because there isn't enough room in Meredith's van," Pam explained.

"That's what she said!" Michael shouted.

"Pssh," I mumbled.

"Don't worry about it," Michael said. "It's not that far from here."

We drove out of the parking lot, and the ride got bumpy. Well, at least for me, because I wasn't wearing a seatbelt or anything.

"We're here!" Michael announced, stopping short in a parking spot and I fell off of everyone's laps. Michael didn't seem to notice what happened, so Jim and Ryan helped me out of the car.

"Thanks," I said, blushing a little.

"Are you alright?" Ryan asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I assured him.

I could've sworn I saw Kelly give me a dirty look. _What the _hell _is her problem? I thought. She must still like him or something… _It didn't matter to me though; I didn't even like him like that.

"You still look a little shook up," Pam told me.

"You must've been knocked around back there," Jim said.

"Well if Michael didn't drive like a maniac then it probably wouldn't have been that bad," I said with a chuckle.

We all went into the bar. I wasn't really worried the sneaking in part, because Michael always had some crazy story that ended up working. Someone that worked in Poor Richard's walked by and noticed me.

"What's this kid doing in here?" he asked.

"It's his bachelor party," Michael said, putting his arm around Jim's shoulder. "And she's our… entertainment."

Jim gave the camera an "Oh my God" look.

"Oh-kay…" the guy said. "Have a good time."

"Michael!" I whispered. "What're we gonna do if that guy sees us again? I'm not acting all sexy and stripping for _anyone _here."

"I'll take care of it," he told me as I sat down at the bar.

I was next to Pam on one side, and there was one seat in between me and Ryan. I didn't mind until Kelly "conveniently" sat in between me and Ryan.

"I'll have a Coke," I told the bartender. He gave me a weird look, but then shrugged it off.

"Here ya go," he said, giving me my drink.

I took a sip. "Jim, did you see last night's Phillies game?" I asked.

"Yeah," he told me. "Did you see the grand slam Utley hit in the 5th inning?"

"That was crazy!" I said. "They've been doing pretty good lately."

"Yeah," he said.

A little while later the guy that stopped us when we first came in walked by again. Michael motioned for me to sit on his lap like I was a stripper. I reluctantly did it, because I knew it would scar me for life. The guy walked into the bar.

"Wooo! Oh yeahh!" Michael screamed. The guy smirked and then walked away. "Nice job…" he stuck a few singles in my back pocket and slapped my butt before I sat back down.

"That wasn't part of the deal," I said.

"It worked didn't it?" he asked.

I went back to where I was sitting, ignoring Michael.

"I feel so bad for you," Pam said when I sat back down.

"I think I'm gonna have to burn this outfit," I said.

"At least he's not hitting on you all the time," she said. "When I first started, he would make stupid jokes and stuff. He still calls me "the hot one"."

"Yeah, but I have Andy," I said, getting annoyed.

"They're both pretty bad," Pam said, laughing. "And Ryan's…" she stopped herself.

"What?" I asked. I turned around to see Ryan looking at us. I turned back around to Pam.

"I think we made him feel bad," Pam said.

"I-I don't care," I said. "Does it look like I care?"

"Come on, don't be like that," she said. "If you wanna talk to him, then go talk to him. Kelly left."

"I don't even like him…" I told her. "He flirts with me."

"But you flirted back, didn't you?" she asked.

"It was innocent flirting…" I said.

"_Oh_-kay," she said.

I got up and took Kelly's seat. "Hi," I said.

"Hi," he said. "Sorry about before, Kelly gets a little… jealous if I talk to other girls."

"That must be really annoying," I said.

"We hooked up once a few years ago just for fun, and then she thought I wanted to go out with her. I guess I'm sorta stuck, ya know?" he told me.

"Yeah, I get what you're saying," I said.

I noticed that Andy and Meredith were pretty drunk, and we'd only been there a few hours. I secretly hoped that he wouldn't come over to me and do something he wouldn't remember the next day, but I spoke too soon. He came over to me and started singing Wake Me Up, Before You Go-Go by Wham.

"Oh my God," I cried, putting my head down on the counter.

"Wake me up before you go-go  
Don't leave me hanging on like a yo-yo  
Wake me up before you go-go  
I don't want to miss it when you hit that high  
Wake me up before you go-go  
'Cause I'm not plannin' on going solo  
Wake me up before you go-go  
Take me dancing tonight  
I wanna hit that high (yeah, yeah)!" he sang, slurring a little. "Wha'd you think?"

Michael and Dwight came over and grabbed his arms. "C'mon Andy, we're taking you home," Dwight said.

"That was so embarrassing, drunk or not," I said.

A little while later, everyone that was still at Poor Richard's walked back to the business park parking lot. Jim and Pam said they would drive me home, because they lived near me.

"Thank you guys so much," I told them on the way to my house.

"No problem," Jim said, smiling.

I got out of their car, and thanked God that it was the weekend. But I still had to face Andy again on Monday.


	4. Preformance Review

"Sara, come in here," Michael called from his office. I was a little freaked out, because whenever a boss called one of their employees into their offices in movies or TV, they were getting fired or the boss wanted to make a move. If Michael did that to me, I'd probably cry, because he's just… gross. I sort of got a preview of it at Poor Richard's on Friday, and that was pretty bad.

"Yeah?" I asked, walking into his office hesitantly.

"You forgot?" he asked. "It's time for…" I stared at him like he had 5 heads. "Your performance review!!"

"Oh…" I said, a little surprised.

"Close the door," he said. I did what he told me to do and closed the door. "Sit down, sit down."

I hesitantly sat down in one of the chairs in front of Michael's desk.

"Sara here has requested a performance review," he narrated to the camera crew.

"I didn't request anything Michael," I said. "You called me in here and I didn't even remember that the performance review was today."

"Anyway," he said, ignoring me. "Let me see your sales sheet."

I looked through the folder I had with me. "Here," I said, handing it to him.

"So, this says you've made…" he read the sheet. "…40 sales in the past 2 weeks."

"Yeah," I said. "Is that bad?"

"No, no, that's good for your first two weeks," he assured me. "Jim didn't even make 10 sales in his first week."

"So I am getting paid?" I asked, trying not to sound pushy.

"Yeesh," he said. "On Tuesday, day before everyone's off."

"Okay," I said.

"Did you know I saw The Devil Wears Prada in the movies 7 times?" he asked. "I love Meryl Streep…"

"I thought this was a performance review," I said, feeling awkward.

"Oh, yeah," he said. "What goes on?"

"Well, I was wondering about what you said about going on a sales call," I told him.

"About that…" he hesitated. "You're first sales call is on the 15th, with Ryan."

"You're kidding me," I said. "Cant I switch or something?"

"It is what it is, kid," he told me. "On the bright side, you got a good performance review!"

I walked out of Michael's office in a bad mood. Leave it to Michael Scott to ruin my day, I thought. I got back on my computer and opened spider Solitaire.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Michael talking-head

"Performance reviews aren't supposed to make people upset, or happy," Michael told the camera crew. "They're supposed to make people feel better or worse about themselves in the workplace."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(AN: I know it was _really _short, but it's kind of like an in between thing until the next chapter. I'm warning everyone now: the next chapter has a lot of drama!! Remember to R&R!!!)


	5. 4th of July Party and Surprises

(AN: Sorry I haven't updated in a while, I had a bit of writer's block because I wanna make this chapter long, and then I went on vacation. But I'm gonna update every few days if I can, so be on the lookout.)

I was walking down the street that Pam and Jim lived on, sweating a little from the sweltering heat. I found the house that I thought was theirs, and walked to the door. I was nervous, because I wasn't sure if it was their house, but I rang the doorbell anyway. I heard footsteps coming towards the door and it clicked open.

"We don't want anything!" Jim shouted. I giggled a little. "Come on in."

He lead me into the foyer, then to the kitchen. The house was kind of small, but still really spacious.

"Uhmm, where I should I put this?" I asked, talking about the cooler I was holding.

"Oh, in the back," he said, taking it from me and putting it in the backyard. "Pam, Sara's here." Pam was in the backyard, putting things out for the barbeque. The backyard was filled with red, white, and blue decorations and streamers. She came inside when she heard us.

"Hi," she said, holding an empty ice bag.

"Let us give you the tour before everyone gets here," Jim said. "You've already seen the kitchen and living room, so let us show you… everything else."

"It's not much," Pam said. "But we love it. Jim grew up in this house."

"Really? That must be really nice," I said.

We were about to go into the hallway where all the bedrooms were when I noticed the clown painting on the wall. It sort of jumped out at me, but I didn't want to say anything to them.

"Jim tried to take it off the wall when we first moved in," Pam explained. "But it wouldn't budge."

They took me down the hall where all the rooms were. They showed me Jim's old room, and his brothers Pete and Tom's rooms.

"And this… is the guest bedroom," Jim said.

I studied it for a minute. "Isn't this the master bedroom?" I asked.

"Yeah… but it was my parents' room," he explained. "I couldn't do it."

It got awkward for a minute. "Guys, it's almost 3," Pam said, breaking the silence.

We all went into the backyard, waiting for people to come. I decided that I would go out front to make sure everyone knew to come into the back. The first of our co-workers to pull up were surprisingly, Dwight and Angela. As they came up the driveway, I tried to be as pleasant as possible, smiling and waving them into the backyard, but they were "prone to unpleasantness" in Pam's words.

"Happy 4th of July!" I exclaimed. They both weren't wearing anything remotely patriotic, and only Dwight was wearing a bathing suit.

"Same to you," Dwight said, walking right past me.

"Thank you," Angela said coldly.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Angela talking head (in Jim and Pam's backyard)**

"Yes, I know they have a pool," she told the camera crew. "But I am not going to present myself in front of all these men in such revealing clothing like some kind of… whore."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I sat in the driveway for what seemed like forever, when Michael's Sebring convertible pulled up to the curb with The Love Game by Lady Gaga blaring. He turned off the music and briskly got out of the car and walked up the driveway holding bags of hotdog and hamburger rolls.

"Sara!" he exclaimed, going in to hug me. I reluctantly took his hug. "Isn't this a great holiday?"

"Mhmm," I said, still a little freaked out from his hug.

"I am ready to par-tayy!!!" he screamed, walking into the backyard.

A little while later, Kelly and Ryan showed up. Kelly jumped out of the car and ran into the backyard leaving Ryan to carry her bags, pretzels and chips, and a bunch of other things. I could tell he was struggling, so I helped him out. I grabbed the chips and stuff because they were the lightest.

"Thanks," he said, walking into the backyard.

"No problem," I said.

*************************************

I decided not to wait for anyone in the front because it had gotten hotter since I'd gotten to the house. Basically everyone from work had come: Michael, Dwight, Angela, Phyllis and Bob Vance, Ryan, Kelly, Meredith, Oscar, and Kevin. I had a bathing suit underneath my clothes, and I needed a little bit of sun, so I sat next to Phyllis at one of the tables I had helped Jim set up.

"Hi Phyllis," I said. "It's nice out today, huh?"

"Yeah," she said. "Defiantly a great day to have a party."

"That cake you and Bob Vance brought looks really good," I said.

"It took me all day to make it," she told me.

Just as things were calming down, Andy came strutting into the backyard carrying a six-pack of beer.

"Heyyy!" he shouted. "I'm here, the party's gonna start!"

Everyone ignored him. "Andy, we have enough beer," Jim told him.

"The more the merrier," Meredith chimed in.

"True that!" Kevin yelled.

"Just… let me put it in the fridge. In the back," Jim mumbled, taking it from him.

"Fine," Andy pouted.

"Cannonball!" Michael screamed, jumping into the pool.

"Wait for me," Dwight called, ripping off his hat and shirt.

"Ryan, I'm going in," Kelly told him. "Will you be my lifeguard?"

"Yeah, sure," he said, not really listening.

"If I drown Ryan Howard, it's gonna be your fault!" she said.

I was getting out some sodas and Andy saw me and whistled.

"You're an ass," I told him.

After a while, everyone except Angela, Stanley, Kevin, and Oscar had been in the pool. I got an inner tube and jumped in. I floated around for a while, watching Dwight and Michael have stupid diving contests, Kevin dropping crumbs of food into the pool and Jim getting mad, and Meredith downing bottle after bottle of Corona.

"Hey kid," I heard someone say. I turned around in the inner tube to see Andy. _Great, I thought. _

"What do you want?" I asked.

"Just wanted to say hi," he told me.

"_Right_, and Angela and Dwight aren't secretly together," I said.

"Come on, it's July 4th," he said.

"I'm not going out with you, Andy," I told him in all seriousness.

"Why not?" he asked. "Too intimidated by my _hotness_?"

"Are you really that stupid?" I asked. "I'm _15 _for God's sake!"

"Look at Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore," he said. "He was in diapers when she was in Terms of Endearment!"

"What are you talking about?" I asked, getting annoyed. "Wait- don't tell me, I don't care."

Just then, Dwight stood on the diving board.

"Attention everyone," he yelled. "I'd like to let everyone know that we will be having a diving contest momentarily."

"Alright, diving contest!" Andy exclaimed. He got out of the pool and went over to Dwight. "I'm in. Prepare to get your ass kicked Schrute."

"That's likely," Dwight said sarcastically.

"Don't believe me," he told him. "I'm still gonna show you up."

--------------------------------------------------------

**Sara talking head (standing by the pool) **

"Andy's challenging Dwight to a diving contest," I told the camera crew. "I'm not sure who's gonna have more fun in this: Andy "proving himself" to me or me watching it all…"

--------------------------------------------------------

Dwight went first, and he did a regular dive. Jim, Pam, and Michael were the judges, and they gave him a 3 for unoriginality.

"Unoriginality?" he asked. "That's ridiculous…"

"Take it or leave it, Dwight," Pam told him.

He rolled his eyes at her and walked out of the way so Andy could take his turn.

Andy went onto the diving board and jumped on it to see how springy it was. He winked at me and jumped off, doing a belly flop.

Everyone, except Angela was laughing. He came up from under the water.

"_That _hurt," he said. "So what'd I get?"

Michael, Pam, and Jim were doubled over with laughter.

"10!!" Pam gasped while laughing.

"Same for me," Jim said.

"Me too," Michael agreed.

"Yes!" Andy exclaimed, jumping out of the pool. "I told you I'd win."

"Pssh, they were too busy laughing at you making an ass of yourself to _really _score you properly," Dwight told him.

"You're just mad that I won and you lost," he argued.

"Whatever you say," Dwight muttered. "She still doesn't like you."

"What're you talking about?" he asked, looking at me. "She's grinning from ear to ear!" He walked over to me, smirking. "So… what'd ya think?"

"You looked like an idiot in front of everyone you work with," I told him. "That's not different from any other day."

"It wasn't _that _bad," he said.

"_Yes _it was," I said. "Trust me on that one."

"C'mon…" he said, putting his arm around me. "Why're you making this so hard?"

"You're kidding me, right?" I asked him, getting mad. "You don't get it?" He shook his head no. "I'm _15_, and you're what… 40?"

"Hey, I'm not that old," he said. "That stuff doesn't matter anyways. If we wanna go out, we're allowed."

"Yeah," I said. "If you wanna get arrested."

"Fine," he said. "Keep playin' hard to get… that makes it more fun for the both of us."

I walked back to where I had been sitting, but Phyllis had moved. I was stuck sitting next to Meredith, who was on her 3rd or 4th beer. _Great, I thought. First I get hit on by a 40-year-old pedophile, then I get stuck sitting next to a drunk. _Just as I was about to get up and ask Jim when we were eating, Kelly and Ryan started screaming at each other.

"What did you just say?" Kelly asked her boyfriend.

"I said we're done, over," he told her flatly.

"I cant believe you!" she cried, storming off.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

**Kelly talking-head (by Jim and Pam's pool) **

"Happy Birthday America, I just got my heart broken!" she cried.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

I went over to Ryan, wanting to know what happened.

"Hey," I said, sitting next to him at one of the tables.

"Hi," he said with a sort of cheerfulness in his voice. "What's up?"

"Nothing really," I told him. "This party's been pretty… exciting so far."

"Yeah," he said with a chuckle.

"Why'd you do it?" I asked him. "I mean… why didn't you do that sooner?"  
"I don't know," he said. "Like I said at the bar, she had me trapped."

"Mhmm," I told him, understanding what he meant.

"You look really… nice," he said.

"Thanks," I said, blushing a little.

"The food's ready!" Jim announced. "Everything's on the long table right over here."

"I guess I better get something to eat before it's all gone," I said, getting up from the table.

"Yeah, you should," he said, sounding a little disappointed.

I went to the table where all the food was, and I got my food.

**************************************************************

By the time everyone was done eating, it was starting to get dark. Jim and Pam had a fire pit, so we all got lawn chairs or whatever we could find to sit on and sat around the fire.

"Jim, is there going to be s'mores?" Michael blurted out. "What about fireworks?"

"We have marshmallows I think," he told him. "And as for the fireworks… most likely there's gonna be fireworks."

"What about ghost stories?" Dwight asked. "I have some great ghost stories."

"We're not at Boy Scout camp," I said.

"Right, no ghost stories," Pam said.

"You guys are probably too scared," Dwight remarked.

"If you get scared, I'm right here," Andy said, nudging me.

"Shut up," I mumbled.

"Fine," he said. "When you're moping around because a year from now I'm with someone because I was tired of waiting for you to come around, you'll remember this."

"Right," I said. "And Michael is Meryl Streep's long-lost son."

He blew it off, partly because Pam came out carrying bags of marshmallows.

"Here, anyone who wants a marshmallow can have," Pam said, opening one of the bags.

I took a couple, and so did Jim, Pam, Michael, Dwight, Ryan, and Andy.

Michael had his completely in the fire, and Jim kept telling him to take it out soon or it would turn black and fall off the stick.

"That's the way I like 'em," he told Jim.

"That's gross," Phyllis said.

"Oh shut up," he told her, taking his stick out of the fire. He was about to pull it off and eat it when it fell off and landed on his foot. "Damn it!"

"Everyone, stand back," Dwight ordered. "We have a burn victim here!"

"Dwight, it's not that bad," he assured his co-worker. "Just get it off my foot and I'll be fine."

"No no, I have to assess your wound," he said after scraping the hot marshmallow off Michael's foot.

"Really Dwight, I'm fine," Michael told him.

"If you cant walk tomorrow because of the severity of the burn, don't blame me, only blame yourself for not listening to me," he said.

"Whatever," Michael mumbled.

"Look, fireworks!" I shouted, pointing up.

"They're probably from the fire department or something," Jim told us.

"He's right for a change," Dwight said. "The Lakawanna Police Department doesn't do fireworks."

"How would you know?" I asked. "You don't even work there."

"I'm a volunteer," he said in a "as-a-matter-of-fact" tone.

"That doesn't count," I said.

"Teenagers," Dwight said, rolling his eyes. "They think they know everything."

Just then, Michael ran across the backyard.

"I'm goin' for a night swim," he said. "Anyone else in? Pam? There may be a little skinny dipping."

"You're _not _skinny dipping in my pool," Jim told him.

"You'd never know," Michael said with a snicker.

"I wouldn't even wanna know," he said.

I was standing on the grass by the bricks that went around the pool when Michael came sprinting towards me. I didn't have time to move, and I don't think he even noticed that I was there, because from what I remember, he jumped into the pool as I fell.

*******************************************************

Pam's POV

I was sitting around the fire pit with Jim, Phyllis and Toby when Michael ran towards the pool. Sara was standing near the outside of the pool, talking to Dwight.

"Whoooo!!" Michael screamed as he ran at full speed to jump into the pool.

As he was running, Sara was sort of in his path, so he knocked her onto the cement. She screamed, and when her head hit the ground, she must've gotten knocked unconscious. I didn't see it happen, probably because it was all over in a matter of seconds.

"Oh my God!" Jim cried, running over to her. "Dwight, why didn't you say anything?"

"I didn't notice," he lied.

"You were right here when Michael knocked her over!" Jim said. "How could you've not noticed?"

"I just didn't," he lied again.

"This is serious man, she could've cut her head open, or get a concussion or something," Jim told him as he checked her for any injuries. I jogged over to them nervously.

"Anything bad?" I asked.

"I'm not a doctor, but I _think _she's unconscious," he joked.

"Come on, be serious for two seconds," I said, getting worried.

"Alright, alright," he told her. "I think her arm's broken."

Michael stepped out of the pool, drying his hair.

"Whose arm is broken?" he asked. "What the hell happened?"

"Sara's arm might be broken Michael," I told him. "And as of right now she's unconscious."

By then everyone had crowded around us, wanting to know what happened and wanting to help.

"Everyone out of the way!" Andy shouted, making his way through the small crowd. "Is she okay?"

"Get outta here Andy," Jim told him sternly. "You'll just make things worse.

"_Tuna, _I didn't know you could be so bossy," he said.

"Pam go call 911," he told me, ignoring Andy.

"Kay," I said.

I called 911 and an ambulance came about 20 minutes later. Jim and Ryan went into the ambulance with Sara in case she came to before they got to the hospital. Michael tried to go too, because he felt bad about everything that had happened and that it was his fault. Andy tried to go but Jim didn't want anything else to happen.

*******************************************************

Sara's POV

I came to maybe once in the ambulance. All I remember is Michael bumping into to me at full speed, falling, everything going black, and my arm hurting really bad, seeing lights, having the feeling I was in a moving car, and hearing beeping noises. I also remember seeing Jim and Ryan, but everything was all fuzzy.

Then I came to again, but this time it was in the hospital. I was in a hospital gown, and there was a cast on my left arm. Jim, Ryan, and Pam were sitting in the room, and they looked really worried and distressed. I felt groggy, and hungry for some reason.

"Hey guys," I said weakly. "What time is it?"

"Oh, it's 10:07," Ryan told me, looking at his watch.

Jim was half-asleep on one of the chairs and Pam was reading a book. He kind of snorted a little and opened his eyes.

"You're awake," he said, sitting up.

"Yup," I said. "Do you know if they'll let me eat anything yet? I'm starving."

"I'm not sure," he told me. "But when the nurse comes back to check on you, one of us'll ask for you."

"Why do I feel so groggy?" I asked, whining a little.

"They put you on some medicine so your arm and your head don't hurt as much," Pam told me.

"What happened, exactly?" I asked.

"Long story short, Michael decked you out and your arm's broken and you have a slight concussion," she told me. "You'll be out of here by tomorrow, don't worry."

"Great," I said. "Leave it to Michael to put me in the hospital."

"Be glad that Dwight didn't try to fix you up," Jim said. "You'd be worse than you already are."

"Yeah," I laughed a little, but I started to feel dizzy.

I fell asleep, but a nurse woke me up.

"Sorry honey," she said. "You cant fall asleep yet, you might go into a coma." She checked all of my IVs. "Do you need me to give you any more?" she asked, meaning pain killers.

"Just a little," I told her. "It's not as bad as before."

"Alright," she said. She put a new bag on the IV with less fluid in it. "We need to know, do you have a parent that can take you home when you leave tomorrow?"

"Well, my parents went to Florida for the week, and…" I started.

Michael burst in the room. "She can stay with me," he told her. "I'm a… family friend."

"I can't believe you unless she says so," the nurse told him.

"He's actually my boss," I said. She looked at Michael, and he smiled at her. "But… he's like family." I cringed after I said that.

"Fine, he's just going to have to sign some papers saying that he'll definitely be responsible for you and that he'll care for you properly while you recover," the nurse said.

"I'm not sure if that'll be guaranteed," Jim mumbled.

"What was that?" the nurse asked.

"Nothing," he giggled.

She blew it off. "Before you leave the hospital tomorrow, Mr… Scott is it? is going to have to be with you," she said.

"What time should I be here?" he asked.

"Any time between 11 and 1," the nurse told him. She walked out of the room.

"Why Michael?" I asked.

"I caused all of this," he said. "You have a concussion because of me."

"Yeah, but…" I started.

"No, don't say anything," he said. "It's my fault, and now I'm getting punished for it."

"Punished?" Jim asked.

"I have to deal with the consequences," Michael told him.

"But shouldn't someone more… _responsible _take care of her?" Jim asked. "Like a relative?"

"None of my relatives live around here," I told them. "They're all spread out around the country."

"What about a neighbor?" Pam asked.

"They all have little kids," I said. "They couldn't take me too, even if it was only for a week."

"I guess you're stuck with me," Michael said, trying to be funny.

"I'm defiantly stuck," I said under my breath.


	6. The First Two Days Living With Michael

"Ahhh!" I sat up, hearing the noise coming from Michael's room. Thud. "Ughh," he groaned.

He padded out of his room, holding his side. "Hey," he said. "What goes on?"

"You woke me up…" I told him, rubbing my eyes. "What the _hell _were you doing in there?"

"That's what she said," Michael said. I gave him a dirty look. "I fell out of bed…"

"You're kidding," I told him. He shook his head no. "Only you Michael."

There was a few minutes of awkward silence.

"Welp…" Michael said, breaking the silence. "I should be getting ready."

**************************************************************

I was lying on Michael's pull-out couch-bed, watching him run around getting ready for work. He ran out of his room and made a bowl of cereal. I looked at the clock in the small kitchen; it read 8:43.

"Michael," I said. "Don't you have to be at work by nine?"

"Yeah," he said, with a mouthful of cereal in his mouth.

"Well, its 8:45 now," I informed him.

"Oh my God," he exclaimed, getting up from the table. "I gotta go, I'm gonna be late!"

"See ya later… I guess," I said.

"Yeah," Michael said, grabbing his briefcase. "And everyone from work's coming over later."

"Great," I said sarcastically.

"I knew you'd be excited!" he cried as he walked out the door. "Bye!"

*****************************************************************

I sat around Michael's small condo all day, because I couldn't do much with a broken arm and a "slight concussion". I watched some sappy day-time soap operas until that got boring (which didn't take that long) so I found some of the DVDs of the documentary I had just become a part of. It was 10:05, so I still had most of the day left. I watched a few of the seasons to kill some time. They were actually pretty interesting. I cried when Jim told Pam that he loved her and she rejected him because she was with some guy named Roy, and when he proposed to her at a gas station, I laughed when Jim pulled pranks on Dwight and whenever Michael did or said something stupid, and I screamed when Andy proposed to Angela. They were so bad together, everyone knew it, but I don't know why I got so mad.

I finished watching all the DVDs, so I decided to call Dunder Mifflin.

"Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam," she said into the phone.

"Pam, it's me," I told her. "Transfer me to Andy, I'm gonna pull a prank on him."

"Good luck," she said. "Hold on."

The voice on the phone told me, "You are being transferred to "Andy Bernard"."

A few minutes later, the line clicked, so I guessed Andy picked up.

"Andy Bernard," he exclaimed.

"Yes, hi," I said in a fake voice. "Do you own a…" I thought for a moment. "Toyota Prius?"

"Yeah," he said. "Who wants to know?"

"Well, someone just slashed the tires and cracked the windshield," I told him.

"Oh my God," he said, sounding mad. "I cant believe this! I _just _got new tires!" He hung up.

I called back a few minutes later.

"What happened?" I asked after Pam picked up.

"He freaked out and ran outside to his car, and when he saw that nothing was wrong with it, he got even madder," she explained.

"No way," I said. "What'd he do then?"

"He came back in and interrogated everyone in the office," she said.

"What'd he do when he found out that no one in the office did it?" I asked.

"He had no idea it was you, don't worry," she told me. "Jim says hi."

"Tell him I said hi back," I said.

She didn't talk for a minute. "And he wants to know how you're doing."

"I'm gonna be back on Monday, probably."

"That's good."

"Alright," I said. "See you when you come over."

"Yeah," she said. "Talk to you later."

***********************************************************

I was dozing off on the couch when the front door of the condo burst open.

"I'm home!" he screamed. I jumped a little.

"Hi," I said.

"I always wanted to do that," he said. "But no one else lives here but me, and when Jan lived here she was always out shopping- with _my _credit cards. So, how was your day?"

"Pretty boring," I told him. "It was really quiet though."

"Well, it's not gonna be quiet in a little while, because everyone from work is coming over," he said, as if I didn't remember.

"You didn't have to invite everyone over, Michael," I said. "It's not like I'm on my dead-bed or something."

"But everyone wants to see you," he said.

"_Everyone_?" I asked. "I doubt that."

"Maybe not _everyone_," he said. "Everyone except Angela and Dwight. But I made them say yes."

"What a surprise," I said. "The office tight-asses don't care about me."

"Speaking of doubt," Michael said, sitting down at the table with the newspaper. "I picked up the movie Doubt- ya know the one with Meryl Streep?- at the store today and I'm watching it tomorrow."

"Yay," I said sarcastically. "A movie about a priest raping a kid, I cant wait."

"It looks good," he said. "And plus Meryl Streep is in it, she's amazing."

"I don't know," I said.

"Come on! It'll be like family movie night, except we're not related."

"So we'd just be watching a movie."

"Basically, yeah."

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**Michael talking-head (sitting at his kitchen table) **

"Do I like having to take care of Sara?" he asked the producer. "Well, yeah. It's like having a kid of my own, except she's leaving in a week… but so far it's been great."

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**Sara talking-head (in Michael's spare bedroom) **

"No, I don't like living here, even if it is for a week," I told them. "He's kinda like the crazy uncle that you hate to like. I know he likes playing dad, but so far it's not working out. He doesn't understand how to take care of a kid. He leaves me here all day long, by myself, and he doesn't even call to check up on me. Some parent he'll be."

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A little while later, there was a knock on the door. Michael was getting changed for some reason, like the little get-together was a big deal, so I answered the door.

"Hi!" I exclaimed. It was Jim and Pam.

"Hey," Jim said, smiling at me.

"Come in, come in," I said, motioning then into Michael's small condo.

"We haven't been here in so long," Pam told me. "Not since Michael and Jan's little dinner party two years ago."

"It turned out to be a bust," Jim said. "Jan flipped out on Michael and she threw one of his Dundies at his flat screen TV."

"That must've been… something," I said.

"Yeah, it's was pretty funny seeing them fight," Pam said. She held out the bag she had. "We got this for you… kind of as a get well present."

"You didn't have to," I insisted.

"Just open it," Jim said. "You wont regret it…"

I gave him a "huh?" look and slowly took out the top layer of tissue paper. There was a note on the top.

It read:

_Sara- _

_You're gonna need all of these things to get through a week of living with Michael. We hope you come back to work soon; it's not the same without you. _

_Love Jim and Pam _

I looked inside the bag and there were a couple of Hershey bars, some Sour Patch kids, two bottles of Cinnamon Bun and French Vanilla Coffee Mate, and The Breakfast Club on DVD.

"Oh my God! Thank you guys so much," I cried, getting up and hugging them both.

"You're welcome," Jim said. He looked over at Pam. "I told you we shouldn't have kept the movie for ourselves."

"We'll just have to borrow it then," Pam said. "I love that movie."

"Me too," I said. "Bender and Claire were so cute together."

"Oh I know!" she squealed.

"You guys are _such _girls," Jim said.

"What's that supposed to mean?" his fiancée asked him.

"You guys are screaming and squealing over characters in a movie," he said.

Just then, there was a knock on the door. It sounded like there were a lot of people outside, so I was reluctant to answer it. I got up in a huff and opened the door. Standing at the doorstep were Stanley, Kevin, Toby, Phyllis, Andy and Ryan. _This is too weird, I thought. Did they plan on getting here at the same time or something? _Surprisingly, Kelly didn't show up.

"Hey… everyone," I said, letting them in.

"Why didn't you answer the door 5 minutes ago?" Stanley asked in his usual monotone.

"Sorry Stanley," I said. "I think Michael should be putting out some chips and pretzels and stuff soon."

"Hi Sara," Phyllis said. "How's your arm?"

"It's alright," I said. "The cast is coming of sometime next month."

"That's good," she said.

"Ryan!" I said. "How've you been?"

He looked a little surprised at what I had done. "Pretty good," he told me.

"How's Kelly been taking the break-up?" I asked.

"She's been giving me dirty looks and shaking her head at me in disapproval," he said.

"Not so good I guess," I said.

"Yeah, I think she thinks I broke up with her because I'm interested in someone else," he told me.

"Are you?" I asked.

"Well… never mind," he said.

I didn't get to ask him to tell me what he was going to say, because Andy came over to us.

"How've you been milady?" he asked.

"Milady?" I asked him back. _What a loser, I thought. _"Anyway, I'm doing okay. Michael wont let me do _anything _on my own. I guess he feels guilty about what he did and he thinks he should take care of me like I'm 5."

"That… sucks," he said. He took a card of out his pocket. "I got this for you."

It had a bear on the front, and there was a speech bubble near its mouth that said 'Get Well Soon!'. I opened it and it had a picture of Andy tucked in it. The card read:

_Sara, _

_Hope you get better soon. I miss ya kid. If you get homesick- or should I say Nard Dog-sick, just take out the picture I gave you ;). _

_Andy _

"Uhmm, thanks Andy," I told him. "That's really… sweet." I winced a little.

"I knew you'd love it," he said. "The picture I mean. Keep that in a safe place."

"I will," I half-lied. I wanted to throw it out after everyone left, but I didn't want to, because I knew it would break his heart. Andy was a good guy, even if he was weird and perverted, he was still a nice guy.

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**Andy talking head (leaning against the island in Michael's kitchen with a beer in his hand) **

"Am I jealous of Michael?" he asked. "Shyeah! She lives in his house, and he waits on her hand and foot. She doesn't deserve him doing that for her." The producer asked him if he would do the same thing. "Hell yes I would! She would actually appreciate it if _I _was doing those things for her… She loves me, not _Michael_." The producer tells him that she wanted Jim and Pam to take her in. "What?" he asked, astonished. "They probably do it all night, they wouldn't pay attention to her. I actually care about her needs right now."

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*******************************************************************

**The next day**

Michael made me watch Doubt with him. It was a worse experience than I thought it would be. He cried at the end, and I had to listen to him cry for an hour and a half after it was over. He kept saying things like, "That was the best movie I've ever freakin' seen!" and "Meryl Streep is amazing!" I just walked out of the room and let him talk to himself and cry. I couldn't wait for next Thursday when my parents were back from Florida and I could go home. It was going to be a _long _weekend.


	7. Weekend at Michael's

(AN: I don't own The Breakfast Club, John Hughes does… I think. You'll find out why I'm saying this later.)

I rolled over in the small bed I was sleeping in. The clock on the nightstand said 7:02. _I'm _not _getting up yet, I thought. It's Saturday, Michael probably isn't up yet either. _Just as I was about to close my eyes again, I heard Michael laugh really loudly from the living room. _God, I thought. The only normal thing I thought Michael did, he doesn't do. Who doesn't sleep in on a Saturday? _

I stumbled out of the room and down the stairs. I found Michael sitting in front of the TV, watching cartoons. _He really _is _a 10 year old trapped in a grown man's body, I thought. _

"Hey Michael," I said, sitting down on the couch next to him. "Whatcha doin'?"

"Watching Spongebob Squarepants," he said nonchalantly.

"Do you know what time it is?" I asked.

"Yeah it's…" he looked at the clock. "7:10."

"Normal people aren't up watching Saturday morning cartoons at 7:10 in the morning!" I cried.

"Wait… I wanna see this one part," Michael said, ignoring me.

"Oh my God," I said, getting up from the couch. "Well I'm going back to sleep."

"No you're not," Michael told me. "We have to carpe diem, seize the day! Didn't I sound like Robin Williams in the Dead Poets Society? We're going for a run."

"You can, I'm not," I told him. "And besides, I have a broken arm if you haven't noticed."

"You don't need your arms to run," he said. "Get dressed."

"No," I told him. "I don't have to follow your stupid morning routine."

"Not if you don't wanna start your day right!" he said.

I gave in, because I knew he'd just keep giving me reasons to go. "Fine," I told him. "But when we get back, I'm doing what I want."

"Alright!" he exclaimed, running up the stairs.

Fifteen minutes later, we were both ready to go for a run. I couldn't help laughing at what Michael was wearing. He was wearing a muscle shirt even though he didn't have any muscles, and bike shorts. And he wasn't even wearing regular shorts over them. It was one of the most disturbing things I'd ever seen. When I had downstairs, Michael examined me. I was wearing a Chase Utley shirt-jersey thing, and red shorts. I didn't think they were that short, but Michael did.

"We're going running Sara, not to a frickin' club," he said.

"These were the only sporty type shorts I had," I told him.

"Fine, just… pull them down more," he told me.

"You're not my dad ya know," I told him.

"Well I'm responsible for you, so I make the rules," he said.

"Damn…" I said under my breath. "He's worse than my own dad."

"Let's go!" he yelled. "I am _so _pumped!" He opened the door and we were off.

We ran down streets I didn't recognize, but I made sure to follow Michael so that I wouldn't get lost. I was pretty sure I could find my way out of his development though, and when I saw the main road a few times I almost did. But I couldn't do that to Michael, for one thing I'd feel bad, and I had nowhere else to go.

After a long time, Michael suddenly stopped running.

"You okay?" he asked. "Wanna go back?"

"No I'm fine," I told him. I actually liked running, because for once Michael wasn't all up in my face talking to me about the stupidest things and I had time to think about things. I thought about a lot of different things, but mostly what I was going to do about Andy… and Ryan. I knew from the second he had said Kelly thought he broke up with her was because she thought he was interested in "someone else" that the someone else was me. I didn't really know what to do, because I couldn't picture myself with him, and I knew I couldn't deal with everything with Kelly and that Angela would probably tell everyone that I was the office slut. And as for Andy, I knew he defiantly liked me, but until he gave me the card the other day he was nothing to me. It was so sweet, and I knew it had taken a lot just for him to give it to me. But he was way too old for me, and again Angela would probably tell everyone that I was the office slut. I decided that I would see how things went with the both of them over the next week and then I would decide.

I noticed we had gone in a giant circle when I saw Michael's condo coming into view.

"Wanna go again?" Michael asked, panting.

"No way," I told him, walking up the driveway. He walked next to me and I figured out that him, running, and 85 degree weather didn't mix well. "Please take a shower."

"You got it boss," he told me. "Wanna go out for ice cream or something?"

"No Michael," I told him seriously. "I'm not your 7 year old niece staying for the weekend; I work for you for God's sake!"

"I understand," he said. "You don't like hanging out with me."

"No I do, it's just…" I started. "Listen, do you wanna watch The Breakfast Club with me tonight?"

"Yeah," he said, giving me a smile.

"Great," I said.

************************************************************

It was 9:15, and I decided that I was going to watch the movie. I told Michael and he practically ran down the stairs. I was surprised that he didn't trip and tumble down.

"Alright, I have two questions before we start the movie," he said. "One: is there any sex and two: is this a stupid teen movie that has a bunch of clichés in it."

"There's no sex and it's not a stupid teen movie," I told him. "A lot of people love this movie, including me. It's about these 5 kids and-"he stopped me.

"Don't tell me," he said. "Just start it."

"Okay, okay."

We watched the movie, and Michael was glued to the TV the whole time. After Bender and Claire kissed and Bender walked out onto the football field and pumped his fist in the air and the credits started, the first thing out of his mouth was "Wow, the jock kid was such a pansy! He was crying just because he felt bad for taping a kid's butt cheeks together…"

"But Michael, he wanted to show his dad that he could do the kind of stuff he did when he was young," I said.

"So? _Everyone_ didn't have to start crying about their problems just because the weird girl did," he argued.

"Forget it," I said, walking towards the stairs.

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**Michael talking-head (Sitting at his kitchen table with a glass of water) **

"I just had an epiphany," he told the camera crew. "I realized that the 80s… the 80s were so much better than now. There was great music, great celebrities and movies, awesome TV shows (Transformers)… but the economy sucked and everyone did drugs… no wait the drugs part was the 60s."

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*********************************************************

**Sunday **

Michael made me breakfast- tiny pancakes and black bacon. It wouldn't have been as bad if he had syrup. But he said he was "trying to stop getting fat." Anyway I was listening to my iPod when there was a knock at the door. Michael ran down the stairs.

"It's probably that thing I ordered!" he told me.

"What is it?" I asked after he had gotten it from his doorstep.

"You'll see once I just open this one part," he said, struggling to cut off part of the box. He opened it and took out two rolls of those Sham-Wow things. "It's a Sham-Wow!"

"I can see that," I said. "You know those things don't really work right?"

"Sure they do," he said. "The guy Vince from the commercial used 'em and they worked like magic."

Then, he spill some water on the table on purpose. "Oh no, I've spilled some water! What am I going to do? I know, I'll use my new Sham-Wow!" He took one of them and patted it on the water. When it soaked it up like a regular paper towel, he got mad.

"Damn it," he mumbled. "These things must be defective or something. I'm gonna have to send them back and ask for different ones."

"I don't think that'll make a difference," I told him. "I told you they were a waste of money."


	8. First Day Back and Ashton Kutcher

(AN: I don't own anything that has to do with Dude Where's My Car or the lyrics to the song I'm using in this chapter. Enjoy! Remember to R&R!)

When I came into work the morning of my first day back, me, Michael and Dwight were the first ones there. Michael told me that he liked to get in early because he wanted to greet everyone as they came in the door. Most of us just blew it off and walked right past him, but Dwight was usually the only one that said good morning back. Everyone started to notice that I was back at work and they came over and told me the usual "Welcome back!"s and things like that.

I was making one of my last sales calls before we got a little break in between the morning and lunch, and I had been trying to make this particular sale for almost an hour. Jim had told me that who I was on the phone with were one of the toughest people to sell to and it was important that the sale was made. Dwight kept mouthing "Give up!" and "Don't say that" to me the whole time, but I kept giving the customer good reasons to buy paper from us. Even though Jim said that you should never get too personal with the customers, I did, but not too much. That's why I think I made almost all of my sales.

"You will?" I asked them. "You wont regret buying your paper from us." I hung up and turned to Dwight. "I told you I'd make the sale."

He ignored me, probably because I made the sale and he didn't.

"What are you _jealous_?" I asked him.

"Jealous?" he asked back. "Of course not."

"Yeah right," I said.

"Hey, don't think you could mouth off to me! I'm your superior, so you must respect me no matter what," he said.

"C'mon Dwight, don't be like that," Pam said from her desk.

"Stay out of this Beesly," he told her.

Pam rolled her eyes and went back to work.

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**Michael talking head (sitting at his desk drinking his morning coffee) **

"There's not a lot going on today," he told the camera crew. "So I decided to rent Dude Where's My Car." He holds up the DVD case to the camera and it zooms in on it. Ashton Kutcher and Seann William Scott are on it, looking confused. "I've been watching it for an hour now, and I'm surprised no one's come in yet to bother me." He starts watching the movie again. You can hear Ashton Kutcher and Seann William Scott yelling about something. "This… is awesome!" Michael exclaimed, laughing. "This Kutcher guy is just so damn funny!"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I looked at the small clock on my desk and it read 10:28, almost time for my little break. There weren't actually any real breaks at Dunder-Mifflin, but I gave myself one anyway. I usually bought a soda and a bag of chips from the vending machine and ate them at my desk. Michael didn't care what we did, as long as we weren't bothering him.

I went into the break room and got a Pepsi and potato chips, and when I was walking back into the office Andy walked past me. I heard him singing to himself, so I didn't even want to bother talking to him.

"I'm so hot for her, I'm so hot for her  
I'm so hot for her and she's so cold  
I'm so hot for her, I'm on fire for her  
I'm so hot for her and she's so cold," he sang.

"What was that?" I asked once I heard him.

"She's So Cold by The Rolling Stones, duh," he told me.

"Yeah, I know that," I said. "I liked that song, but you just ruined it."

"Well _excuse _me for singing how I feel," he said. I blushed, but he had already walked away.

********************************************

"Okay everyone," Michael announced. "I know what you're thinking. Today's not Movie Monday, so why is he showing us a movie today?" Everyone in the conference room, including me, just sat there. "We are watching… Dude Where's My Car!"

"Michael, there's no way that movie appropriate for the workplace," Angela argued.

"Why not?" he asked. "It's like the funniest movie ever, and Ashton Kutcher is _hilarious_!"

"I'm out of here," Oscar said.

"Me too," Stanley agreed, putting his crossword puzzle book under his arm. "I thought this was going to be about something important, but again I was wrong."

"You guys are not going anywhere," Dwight yelled, going in front of the door. "You're staying in here for as long as Michael tells you to." I saw Angela smirk a little.

"But it's about stoners losing their car," Jim said.

"See?" Angela cried. "I'm not the only one that's opposing this."

"Fine," Michael said. "We'll just watch another movie… Which one do you guys want? A Lot Like Love, The Butterfly Effect, Just Married or The Guardian?"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Jim talking head **

"I always wondered why Michael was obsessed with the Coast Guard after that movie came out," he said. "And now I know." He smiled at the camera.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------


	9. The First Sales Call

(AN: I don't own anything from The Office and any of the names from Mean Girls.)

------------------------------------------------------------------

**Sara talking head **

"So we ended up watching The Guardian yesterday," I told the camera crew. "It's a good movie, but the ending was so sad. I cried, hah. I mean who woulda thought that after all that Ashton Kutcher's character would let that happen to Kevin Costner's character?" The producer asks her about Michael's man-crush on Ashton Kutcher. "It's defiantly weird," I told them. "_I _think Ashton Kutcher's hot for God's sake! He shouldn't too if he says he's not gay, but I'm starting to have my doubts about that."

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Today was the day I was supposed to go on the sales call with Ryan. I wasn't dreading it, but I wasn't excited about it either. He was my friend, and I didn't want to be anything more than that, because I didn't want to deal with the drama that was guaranteed with Kelly. She already hated me as it was. And besides, I knew I'd have somewhat of a good time being away from everyone we worked with.

Michael came out of his office.

"Sara, Ryan, get outta here," he said. Ryan rolled his eyes at our boss and got up from his desk, carrying his briefcase.

"Let's go kid," he told me as he walked past my desk. I picked up whatever I thought I would need for the sales call and followed him. We walked out into the business park's parking lot towards Ryan's mom's car.

"Mom let you have the car today?" I asked, sounding like I was talking to one of my friends.

"Hah, yeah," he said.

"So… how do you like working in sales?" I asked, trying to make conversation as he started the car.

"It's a helluva lot better than being a temp," he said.

"I think anything's better than being a temp," I said.

"Yeah," he said. I could he felt really awkward.

"Where are we going exactly?" I asked him.

"Uhm I think we have to go to…" he looked at the sheet he was holding. "Benjamin Franklin Elementary School," he told me.

"Great, I never thought I'd ever have to go back there, and now I do," I said. "My 5th grade teacher, Mrs. Reynolds, was a _bitch_!"

"I had her too," he told me. "Did she still have that bridge that would fall out?"

"No I think she got a fake tooth cemented in her mouth or something," I said.

"You're lucky," he said. "You didn't get traumatized every day from seeing that thing fall out."

"Hah," I laughed.

We pulled into the school parking lot and walked towards the entrance of the school. I went in, and there were kids everywhere. Ryan looked a little nervous and he was trying not to bump into all the kids.

We found the principal's office and went in. There was a middle-aged woman sitting at the reception desk, and she looked like she hadn't slept in days.

"Hi, we're from Dunder-Mifflin, the local paper company," Ryan told her. "We have an appointment with Mr…" he looked at the piece of paper he was holding. "Norbury."

She rolled her eyes at him. "One second," she said, picking up the phone and dialing a number. "Ted, some people from Dunder-Muffin are here to see you."

"Actually, it's Dunder-_Mifflin_," I corrected her, trying to be polite.

"Whatever," she said. "You can go in now."

"Thanks," Ryan said coldly. I could tell he was pissed off about the receptionist too.

"What was up her ass?" I whispered as we walked into the principal's office.

"I have no idea," he said.

*******************************************************

We ended up making the sale, but only because Ryan saved my ass. I was supposed to do as much as possible, but I couldn't because I was so nervous I could barely speak. We made our way back to Ryan's mom's car, and I felt really bad that I made Ryan do the whole thing.

"Sorry about what happened," I told him, nervously running my hand up and down my cast.

"You don't need to be," he said. "My first sales call, I went with Stanley, and I kept repeating myself and he had to take over. There's always next time."

"Yeah," I said, still feeling a little embarrassed.

He smiled at me.

Going on sales calls was going to be harder than I thought.


	10. Sales Call Doubleheader

"Morning Pam," I said as I walked towards Pam's desk. I was in a good mood that day, so I grabbed a handful of Skittles from the candy jar she kept on her desk even though it was 9 o'clock in the morning. I walked over to my desk and as I passed Dwight, he smirked at me.

"What?" I asked, sitting at my desk.

"Nothing…" he said slyly. "You'll find out soon."

"Everything with you is a game Dwight," I said, getting mad.

"It makes you mad doesn't it?" he asked.

"Yeah!" I cried.

"Perfect," he said.

I turned to Jim. "What's his problem?" I asked him.

"Do you really want me to tell you?" he asked.

"_Yes_! Please tell me," I begged, giving him puppy dog eyes.

"You're going on a sales call with him," he told me. My smile quickly faded. "That's not the worst part…" he paused. "You're going on a sales call with Andy too."

"What? How am I supposed to go on _two _sales calls in one day?" I asked. I stormed into Michael's office.

"Is Jim telling the truth? Am I going on two sales calls… with Dwight _and _Andy?"

"Yup," he told me. "You have to. You were supposed to go on one last week, but then I gave you a broken arm and now you have to make up for it."

"But why Andy and Dwight?" I asked, getting annoyed.

"If you wanna complain, put your complaint in the constructive criticism compliment box," he told me. "Or complain to Toby. But I would recommend the constructive criticism compliment box."

"Fine," I said. I decided not to anything about it, because nothing was going to happen anyway. I went back to my desk.

"We are leaving in T-minus…" he checked his watch. "11 minutes," Dwight told me.

"Yay, I'm _so _excited," I said sarcastically.

"You, with your… your… sarcasm!" he yelled. "I have enough of it from Jim, and now I'm getting it from you. Work isn't a game you know."

"It can be," I said. "Oh wait- you wouldn't know because you have a stick up your ass, just like Angela!"

"That's it," he said, getting up from his desk. "Get out."

"You can't make me," I told him.

"Really Dwight, you can't do that," Jim told him.

"Yes I can," he said. "I'm her superior; she must do whatever I say."

"But Jim's _your _superior," I said.

He looked defeated for a minute. "That doesn't matter; Jim would never punish you, because you _never _do anything to him even though he doesn't care about you!"

"Shut up Dwight," I told him, trying to hold in my anger.

"Are you gonna cry now?" he asked, making fun of me.

"Michael, I'm not going with Dwight!" I called into his office.

"You have to," he told me.

"Damn it," I mumbled under my breath.

"Come on, we have to leave now, or else we're going to be late," Dwight told me. I didn't answer him but I got up and followed him out. "Listen, if you ever do that again, you'll be fired faster than you can type."

"Like that's ever gonna happen," I said.

"You'll see," he said.

We went into the business park's parking lot and Dwight led me into his Trans-Am. I got into the passenger side and smoothed out my skirt.

"Oh you're wearing a skirt today," he noticed. "That's a surprise; I always thought you were a lesbian."

"What the hell Dwight?" I asked. "I'm not a lesbian… I'm getting out of here."

"Too bad," he told me. "I already locked the doors."

"Shit," I muttered. "You're an asshole."

********************************************************

Dwight and I didn't talk the whole time in the car, and when we were at the sales call I only talked when he asked me something or when someone else asked or told me something. When we got back to Dunder-Mifflin, I went into the conference room and locked the door.

"What happened?" Pam asked.

"Nothing, it was no big deal," Dwight told her.

"Dwight, what did you do?" Jim asked. I came out of the conference room with a note in my hand, and gave it to Jim. "_Dear Everyone,_" he read. "_I'm never speaking to Dwight again. I know he hates me and he only agreed to take me on the sales call with him so he could torture me, and that's exactly what he did. He noticed that I was wearing a skirt today, not pants or capris, and he said he thought I was a lesbian. So I tried to get out of his car, and he locked the doors so I couldn't get out. Wouldn't that be sort of like harassment? _

_~Sara _

_And PS- If you want to talk to me, I'm in the conference room until my sales call with Andy. I'll only let you in if you're not Dwight, Angela, and maybe Michael._"

Everyone looked kind of shocked, and they looked at each other, then at Dwight.

"Dwight, that is _so _not cool," Kelly told him.

"Yeah," Oscar agreed.

"That's a form of sexual harassment," Toby told them.

"Harassment furassment," Michael said. "It's no big deal. He just told her what he thought."

"If it's not such a big deal Michael, then how come she said she's never talking to him again?" Pam asked.

"She's a teenager, they get moody," he said. "She'll bounce back."

I went back to my desk, ignoring Dwight. Andy came over to me and leaned on my desk. _Wonderful, I thought. My bad day just turned to shit. _

"We gotta go at 11:45," he told me. "And we're probably not gonna be back till almost one."

"Okay?" I told said.

"So I was thinking we could grab some lunch and-"I stopped him.

"We're _not _going on a date," I told him.

"It's not a date, it's just 2 people that work together eating in public," he said. "Together."

"Alright, alright I'll go," I said. Anything was better than staying at work sitting next to Dwight, even a "not date" lunch with Andy after the sales call.

A little while later, Andy came over to my desk.

"Let's get out of here," he said. I stood up and he held out his arm.

"No," I told him. He put his arm down and looked a little upset.

***************************************************

For the sales call we had to go a retirement home, and I had no idea why.

"What do old people need paper for?" I asked as we pulled into a parking spot at the Scranton Retirement Home.

"I dunno," he said.

"I don't like retirement homes," I told him. "They're like hospitals, but nicer and without all the medical stuff."

"And they smell weird," he said, obviously trying to get me to laugh. I giggled a little. "What? It's true…"

We walked through the automatic doors and found the manager of the place. He was old, like everyone else that lived there, and he looked really annoyed when we walked into his office.

"Hello," I said nervously.

"Are you the paper people?" he asked.

"Yes sir," Andy said. "Andy Bernard, Dunder Mifflin Paper Company." He held out his hand for the man to shake it.

"Sara Geller," I told him. "I'm an intern."

"That's nice…" he said. "So, the paper."

"Yeah," Andy said. "We have a lot of different styles and colors to choose from…"

******************************************************

We made the sales call, but it was pretty hard to persuade the client to buy from us because he was really stubborn. But Andy used his weird charm and pushiness to finally make the sale.

I walked back to his Prius in a good mood.

"I can't believe we actually made that sale," I said, smiling at him.

"I know," he said. "It's a good thing I'm hot."

"The guy we made the sale to was a guy Andy," I told him.

"He coulda been gay," he said. "But we'll never know."

"Yeah," I said, laughing a little.

"So where do you wanna have lunch?" he asked as we drive into downtown Scranton.

"Well being around all those old people made me lose my appetite," I said.

"Ice cream then?" he asked.

"Yeah," I told him. "Let me just give you the money now-"

"No, no. I'm paying," he told me as we pulled into the parking lot of a Friendly's.

"You really don't have to," I said.

We got out of the car and walked to the entrance.

"I know I don't have to, but I want to," he insisted.

"Okay," I said, blushing. "That's really nice of you Andy."

"It's my pleasure," he said as he opened the door for me.

******************************************************

We ordered our ice cream to go and ate it in Andy's car. Surprisingly, I had a good time. He was actually really cool about the whole thing. He didn't make a big deal about it at all. When we got back to the office, I was a little hyper from the ice cream.

"What's up? You're bouncing off the walls," Jim said.

"Ice cream," I told him.

"Ooh," he said. "Make the sale?"  
"Yup," I told him.

"Was Andy being a creep?" he asked again.

"Surprisingly no," I told him. "_He _paid for _my _ice cream; he held doors open for me…" Jim gave the camera an "Oh my God" look. "Don't worry, nothing's going on. I would never…"

Just then, I saw Andy talking to Kevin about something and I saw his smile fade, because I think he heard me.


End file.
